Saw Ocean's 12 on Monday night with some sec school mates, including one former best friend who has made it big in the world of success. What a guy.

Unfortunately, that came at the expense of celebrating a church friend's birthday party.

It was a good night, though.

But for some reason I am very tired now. Bone weary.

The emotional oscillations have started again.

I am feeling increasingly disconnected from people, some more so then others.

I think about it all the time.

Spending endless nights staring wide awake at the ceiling watching those images replay themselves mercilessly across my mind's eye again and again.

It haunts me.

I feel betrayed.

Out of the past.


posted by baron at 2:20 AM

Ah yes its the blog again. Haven't been here in a week.

Today is a Sunday, the 19th of December. I am tempted to calculate how many hours are left to NS, but I will restrain that worry-bug that has infested my mind for too long.

Today was a good day!

Woke up at 10am and then went for the 2nd service at Church. Stoned around Tani until lunchtime, and after that the whole gang were coerced by Josh Tan to go play LAN.

Come to think of it, there WAS a time when I actually found LAN enjoyable. But I got top frag for one of the maps, so that wasn't so bad.

The real fun started at 5pm when we played soccer with the chaps from St. Paul's Church.

A bunch of skinny teens versus a formation of 20 something year olds. The odds were against us, but it took them a whopping 55 minutes before we got kicked out.

And even that goal was not counted because their lob was actually going out, so I let down my guard.

But then it hit a tree branch and fell back in and some guy slotted it in before I had the slightest idea what had happened. But it wasn't really incompetence on my part. I did have a good game helping Tim our last man keep a clean sheet for a long time, including one very close slide tackle that very nearly turned into an own goal. I must improve my dribbling, though.

In any case the Phuket cruise was the highlight. It was brilliant, even for a family occasion.

First, the food was beyond description. About the only word I can use is incredible.

Jap sashimi, Indian curries, Italian pasta with crayfish bisque- that stuff redefined delicious.

The shows weren't bad except that the blinkin laser lights kept mercilessly stabbing away at my retinas on the first night.

Took a gym course, and now my long-delayed fitness programme is under way.

There was a topless revue show at midnight, but I didnt go for it, thinking it to be inappropriate on a family cruise.

Then my parents brought me into the casino.

The games were all very interesting, though of course I wasn't allowed to play any of them.

One interesting fact I noticed was this:

Number of Indians playing in the casino: 0
Number of Malays playing: 0
Number of Caucasians playing: 2
Number of Chinese playing: 10 billion and five.

It's quite intriguing how this gambling thing is a congenitally Chinese trait.

Then there was Phuket itself. Quite cool, aside from the initial shock of seeing a transvestite tour guide with one of the other groups. But I was really relieved that our tour guide was normal.

We went to quite a few places; there was first the "cashew nut factory" (I had no idea that the things even existed), a "diamond making factory" (which didn't just sell diamonds but also leather wallets and glass lamps)
and some funny place that sold all sorts of dried seafood. Then we went to the market place where I bought an Arsenal jersey and jacket for $45. The jersey was Reyes', the No. 9. Was looking for Cole at first, though. Wanted to bargain for less but we were short of time. Pity.

The trip back to Singapore was hideous and reminded me why I hate the place. From a clear blue sky and vast blur waters the whole scene soon degraded into a cloudy overhead with greenish-grey water, and the air was acrid with the stench of smoke and fumes.

And then the whole refinery-shipyard-reclaimation industrial complex comes into view looking like it came out of the Isengard or Mordor scenes of the Lord of the Rings movies. All that was needed was the the Eye of Lee filled with a sleepless malice looking over the Island of Shadow.

But life has been good after returning, though.

Now I must make haste, for certain people are returning from overseas...




posted by baron at 7:31 AM

Well, I've got the FIREfly programme tomorrow

.... but I decided to do up my other blog instead.

It's quite wierd maintaining two blogs, but I guess it makes it easier, in the sense that the emotional stuff won't be mixed with the normal day-to-day log entries.

Come to think of it, I should start up a third blog to dump my writing sketches.

In the meantime, the cruise awaits.


posted by baron at 5:13 AM

1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.
5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

Psalms 51: 1-5

I have to repeat these words because of my great sins. Sometimes I just give up on living for God and then I plummet into this pit of wrongdoing and despair. The Lord is my sole hope now.

I have said these words so often, and always my flesh is weak.


posted by baron at 2:51 AM

ARSENAL 5 ROSENBORG 1

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Fabregas' goal was DAMM PRO
Henry's chip was brilliant

WICKED!!!!

Well I certainly hope they bash Chelsea this Sunday. That asshole Mourinho is needing one big fat punch on that puckered face of his right now.

I think we'll see a lot less emotional cartharsis on this blog, now that I've set up another concurrent one. It will seem a bit schizophrenic, but I suppose it's better that way.

It's already the 9th of December.

What in blazes man!! It's already over a week of holidays! Time moves too fast.

My fitness programme is barely off the ground, I'm stuck in an endless grinding of FIREfly stuff, and in Half Life 2 I'm still on Highway 17- while my brother is already storming Dr Breen's Citadel. Not to mention the fact that I have to start gettting Rome Total War soon, and go out with Greg and Shawn and the other dudes.

And, of course, that same old issue.

But enough. Time to seize the day.

Oh yes I will be cruising away to Phuket with the family on the 12th to the 15th of December through the pirate-infested waters of the Malacca Straits. So I will be taking neither calls nor messages. Thanks.


posted by baron at 8:55 PM

Without the exams my interest in the humanities has far from deadened.

Suddenly the worlds of literature and history have become more appealing to me, all those stories of Conrad and Waugh, all those chronicles of the Seluccid Empire and the Thirty Years War and all that.

Immensely fascinating stuff. The worlds of non ficton and imagination have never seemed so intriguing.


posted by baron at 3:18 AM

Went to the GRAND COPTHORNE last night to celebrate the end of the exams with good old Yan and his family.

I ate:

1 crayfish hors de'oeuvre
2 oysters
3 prawns
3stuffed egg slices
1 seared tuna with roe
4 slices of smoked salmon
2 Shashimi bluefin slices
2 shashimi salmon slices
2 shashimi tuna slices
2 shashimi unkown fish slices
Romaine lettuce, baby corn, Russian salad, and "salad of the day" with French, Caesar, and Thousand Island Dressing
1 bowl of Green Pea Soup
1 slice of Japanese egg
2 slices of grilled red snapper
1 chunk of Tandoori chicken with mint sauce
a serving of fried rice
2 slices of roasted salad beef
1 piece of some bread
bread and butter pudding
6 tarts with apricot/strawberry/kiwi
1 pineapple slice
1 slice of tiramisu
1 chocolate tart
1 cream puff
1 glass of chocolate syrup
1 apple pudding

This was as good as the previous one at the Hotel Continental, but I preferred the previous one because it had pasta. Having said that this one totally kicked ass. I felt so bleeding stuffed, but it was blinkin worth it.

Well, we tried going up to the penthouse suite but then found that none of the lifts' buttons worked. So we could only hop from floor to floor whenever one of the guests was calling a lift up. In the end, we discovered that the buttons could only be operated by a guest sliding his/her key into a slot below the button panel! So in fact we were stuck in the bleeding shaft!

Fortunately you didnt need a key to press "1" and this we did.

On the 4th floor we found a wedding in progress. We nearly gatecrashed it. HAH!!

Wicked place, this Grand Copthorne. Wicked food. Yan and I have made plans to stay over there on the Christmas weekend playing the Xbox and eating massively delicious hotel food- they're having an Italian chef over on that period. WICKED, no?




posted by baron at 2:49 AM

The photos are finally uploaded on shutterfly.

The trick now is to make em available to my friends.

Oh well.

The fact is that I still have a billion other things to do after school.

The firefly crap and church stuff... bugger.

And then the whole crystallization of boredom is slowly getting to me.

Yes.

that's it. I'll start a new blog, a concurrent one.





posted by baron at 2:48 AM

With the ending of Lit S the Epoch of JC has passed into memory, fading as quickly as mist.

The A Levels.

The hectic build up to prelims.

The events, the CCAs, the companions, the lectures and the ponning of lectures.

The insane math tuts and history essays.

Old Cook's and Harris' crazy repartees.

Mucking around at the stone tables.

All over. All into the pages of yesterday.

Do I miss them? Am I feeling those silly tugs of sentimental nostalgia?

In a way, yes.

But I am just glad that the blinkin exams are over.

OVER!

WICKED!!!!!!


DEAR HUMANITY.

WE REGRET BEING THE ALIEN BASTARDS.

WE REGRET COMING TO EARTH.

AND WE MOST DEFINITELY REGRET THE CORPS JUST BLEW UP OUR RAGGEDDY-ASS FLEET!


HOO-RAH!!!!


HALO 2 rocks. Pity I can't play the thing. At least I've got Half-Life 2 now. Wicked!

Went to Prom.

Immense occasion. The stage performances were substandard (except the school rock band and Vintage Flavour) and so was the food but the photo taking was dead fun.

For once I was pleased with what I wore. Heh must've been my subconscious German fetish; my colour scheme was inspired by the Deutsch national flag. With the Eurofighter Typhoon collar pin, I sort of envisioned myself as Die Rote Baron of der Ottokommando von Luftwaffe. But that wasnt the point. The record number of photos I took was.

Will upload the pics over the course of the next week; I must first figure out how that complexicated shutterfly thing works.

But THAT PHOTO.

So incredibly fascinating.

It brings out so much of these.... sensations in my mind.

Went to camp.

Felt that other than the worship and the soccer, it was quite flat. Or maybe its just because Im jaded from all these camp stuff. Good effort by the comm, though. Great mix of newcomers.

Went to a Firefly interview.

It was an unnatural experience, but at least I'm through to the second round.

Went to the PSC tea session.

Quite fascinating, actually. Looks like the MFA is the thing for me. Great chance to start a world war.

Heh. Heh. Heh. Heh.

The only major bone up my arse now is the fact that as I type Chelsea is going 8 points clear at the top of the table.

I loathe that club, its owner, and its manager. It is a pretentious outfit with a filthy rich Russian asshole and a bloody effing, annoying, and even bigger asshole of a Portuguese coach.

The only positive perspective I have about them is my respect for Lampard, Terry, Robben and Petr Cech.

Well, looks like I will go and upload the photos now.

Lets hope Arsenal and pull through the long winter ahead.

I will blog again shortly; the feeling of having neither school nor homework is very, very, new. So my thoughts and emotions are still half assembled now.


posted by baron at 6:03 AM