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Lit test was majorly screwed.
Even though the poem I studied was tested, and the pract crit part was from a book that I read, I couldn't do both as well as I could the last tests. Bugger. Last night there was this big blackout that hit the whole island except my house. Pretty funky, eh? It was like one of those sci-fi movies like this massive shadow-gap generator was set up in the middle of the island cloaking the whole place in blackness. But the real shadow had already descended upon Singapore long before last night... posted by baron at 8:21 PM
A lizard fell into the toilet bowl and drowned today.
My family left it as a monument (did i use the word correctly?) to Darwin's Natural Selection theory- the stupid never live long. This is so cool. And spastic, of course. posted by baron at 7:10 AM
One of my more inane habits (and I have plenty of those) is to stare at the scenery from my 22nd story window and watch for long periods of time the ivory condominium and its inhabitants next door, the unchanging skies and their wispy woolly clouds, the hectic roads, and the vast sea adorned with all its little ships. But thats not the point for today.
It has occured to me that my God is a good one. Yes, as the pastors tell me, He is love and strength made perfect and all that, but the truth of the matter could not be simpler. He is not only all-loving and all-mighty but good. Noble, beautiful, honourable, generous- no number of superlatives can ever be the measure of His goodness. That's why we Christians like to sing so many songs about Him, simply because He is a good God. And a good God deserves all the praise we can muster. It can't get much more plainer than that. But I still have no idea as to where to go for further education. The US is attractive because of the freedom they would grant me to pursue whatever I would want to, but their culture is one of limitless decadence and social chaos. Look at their MTV- drugs, sex, alcohol, and violence. These things I admit are quite cool in moderation (except drugs) but these Americans worship them. Another option is the United Kingdom. It appeals to me because I intend to gain not only further education but a chance to see Arsenal in full football glory, soak up the UBER culture and heritage and history of Britain, and gain a sense of wit so caustic I will be able to verbally shred any who dares stand in my way in the future. Unfortunately them Brits are a snobbish lot, inflexible and with stuck-up attitudes, and not very friendly towards Asians it seems. Plus, from all accounts, their food and weather suck black shit. That leaves me with my second tier choices- Canada, Australia, and New Zealand. They seem quite relaxed about entrance criteria. Problem is, a degree from there wouldnt give me two nickels worth of employment opportunities anywhere other than the local fast food outlets. But heck, thats better than tearing myself apart in this abominable potty society we call Singapore- where greed is god, the individual is by definition expendable, damned be your fellow man, and the PAP is always right. My mind is all over the place today. Everywhere, it seems, except preparation for the common tests tomorrow. posted by baron at 10:52 PM
Well the holidays have ended and I stare death straight in the face.
But I fear him not. I believe that no matter the outcome of the coming week my God will stand me strong and strengthened- yes, that same God Whom I had the audacity to mock a while ago. Now I have come to my senses, He is not a God to be trifled with and He is all the hope I have in the coming storm. "Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify Your Name!" John 12:27-28 posted by baron at 12:18 AM
No, I am not Aragorn Son of Arathorn and neither am I in love with him.
This blog has just undergone a renewal and I chose this new blogskin because it looks dead cool!! Normally I value blogs only for their functionality but there are some very UBER aesthetically funky decors out there and this happened to be one of them, so I had it put up here. Kudos to Shannon the blog-meister for his invaluable help. Thanks dude of blogs- You da man! If there is a flaw in this thing it has to be the font size. A little too small but well so what??!! This new skin is UBER COOL. Hail to Aragorn son of Arathorn, Heir to Elendil and the House of Tar-Menyatur. But I don't worship that king. My King is far, far greater then any of the kings of mortal men. My Euro 2004 predictions have gone to pieces. Now I am backing the Czechs to win. With the Dutch and Portuguese as dark horses. I think the Greeks and Czechs and the Swedes KICK-HOT-ASS! Greeks for their UBER defence, Swedes for Larson, Ljunberg, and Ibramovich, and the Czechs for their UBER team spirit. Screw the Dutch and the Portuguese... posted by baron at 10:23 PM
"Then Job replied to the Lord:
"I know that You can do all things; no plan of Yours can be thwarted. You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?' Surely I spoike of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.' My ears had heard of You, but now my eyes have seen You. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes" " Job 42:1-6 In dust and ashes, my Lord. posted by baron at 6:09 AM
Night falls and once again I sit and wonder if there is anything I can do to rid myself of this curse.
I wonder what sin I have done as a foetus to cause my life to be dammed thus, that every waking moment I cannot help but think on my failings, on The Disaster, on The Catastrophe. They tell me I'm not a failure. They tell me I'm fine the way I am. They tell me I have the victory in Christ. But they do not know what it is like to have gone through all these months where our eternally wonderfully heavenly Father (or Fuhrer)has not even bothered to reply or respond to 510 days of intense prayer. They do not know how it feels to grief in anguish until two in the morning. What they do not know is the torment I, and our eternally wonderfully heavenly Father allowed me to, undergo month after godforsaken month. I have grown so sick of it all that I cannot bring myself to fight it. I have risen again and again only to be brought low by the reality of this world- which, contrary to popular Christian opinion, has NO direct divine intervention from the eternally wonderfully heavenly Father. All He would deign to do nowadays is to apply the weakest of indirect pressure to make sport out of our best endeavours. The days of miracles are over. You hear that, Singapore, and your Goal 2010? Just watch the wicked prosper and the meek and humble grovel and mewl. That is the Earth they will inherit, eh? But make no mistake I will not abandon my faith. Dammnation on Earth is much, much preferable to dammnation for eternity. posted by baron at 5:12 AM
In yet another amazing turn of events some spastic website IQ quiz tells me my IQ is 131.
I find that laughable because they tell me I'm a "Visionary-Philosopher" sort of person, like Plato, and they call me "Very Superior" and more intelligent 98.1% of the world population. What absolute rubbish. I am not that bloody intelligent and I should know it myself. Hah, the things they find on the Internet these days... posted by baron at 4:17 AM
Something caught my attention just now:
If a girl doesnt go for guys, she's normal. If a girl goes for a guy and gets him, she's normal. If a girl goes for a guy but gets rejected, she's normal. If a guy doesnt go for girls, he's gay. If a guy goes for a girl and gets her, he's ok. If a guy goes for a girl and gets rejected, he's a loser. What interesting times we live in! posted by baron at 3:40 AM
Song: Foundations Of Stone Lyrics
(Quenya and Dwarvish) Mettanna(Q) Irkat-lukhud ma katabrikihu Ulfat-atam ma tanakhi uduhu bin-nât aznân tarsisi Bazar udu agânî-furkhîn Gurd! Ma nîd sakhu! Ma satf unkhai! Atkât zatagrafizu Zatablugi sulluzu(D) Mettanna Nárendur! An mauya mahtie. Mettanna! (Q) Translation 'No shaft of light Can breach it No breath of air Comes from it Only an endless dark rises Deep from the beginnings Of the world. Have fear. Do not look down Nor step too close The silence will take you. It will swallow you whole.' Song: Evenstar Lyrics Heo naefre wacode daegred To bisig daegeweorcum Ac oft heo wacode sunnanwanung Thonne nihtciele creap geond moras And on thaere hwile Heo dreag tha losinga Ealra thinga the heo fortas. Heo swa oft dreag hire sawle sicende Heo ne cuthre hire hertan lust Translation She never watched the morning rising, Too busy with the days first chores But oft she would watch the sun's fading As the cold of night swept across the moors And in that moment She felt the loss Of everything that Had been missed So used to feeling the spirit sink She had not felt her own heart's wish. posted by baron at 3:30 AM
What an interesting turn of events.
On the day after yesterday (I'm experimenting with spastic expressions)the spirit of joy has left me. It just evaporated. Somehow my state of mind can be likened the atmosphere in Chiang Mai when I was there a couple of years back. In the morning there was the sunrise, as sunrises are usually bound to occur in the morning. But thats not the point. The memories are back again. It was a cool place, literally and figuratively. In the morning you had the translucent mist twirling around the ground, floating over both the vermillion lawns and the mirrored waters of the mini-lake. The sun comes up gleaming soft like one of those jewels lifted out of the velvert blackness of their cases. What a sight. Its not like the hazy sunlight going through carbon monoxide fog in Mexico City; its more like those Elven crystal lamps with the light of Valinor glowing in the fine spray of the Rivendell waterfalls. And slowly it becomes more intense, more engaging, more beautiful. You sit there, you and I, taking in the air that seems to come from the earth itself, odorless and yet unsterilized. You watch the sun slowly expanding up and over the far ridge, dotted with the tree-sentinels that keep the peace. You see the mist scatter and twirl, perhaps excited by the sun's smile. Some blush-scarlet bird or other dives and chatters and you can't help but smile because something inexplicable within you melts away all those layers of cynicism and bitterness and deadened sentiment. I felt like that yesterday. But not so anymore. That spirit from Chiang Mai has departed, silent as the sun had risen. And so the voices have returned, fell and cold and poisonous. Voices from the depths of the other memories calling for a return to the old rituals of obsidian anger and vendetta. Voices from the night and nightmares, reminding me of failures and hurts and regrets. The fact is I do not know what to do with this condition. My confusion is manifested in this spasm of gushing mushing sentiment (as usual) but I need answers and fast. And to think yesterday I was secure in camp afterglows and Soviet Shoe Shirts and Communist Supermen. posted by baron at 2:01 AM
I have returned from Church Camp and I am changed.
The old demons of failure and stinging regret are not yet exorcised- but I am determined that they will be. They must be. It was a great time, the camp. Attempting to mug until 3am in the morning but failing miserably thanks to my pals, dancing before my Creator in worship, rushing from activity to activity (including tennis and swimming) and making fun of Malaysian hotels. For some reason I am incredibly calm even in the face of the tests. Once I got back I went and bought what I call the Soviet Shoe Shirt from Fila for a puny $10, thanks to a pal's brilliant sense of bargain (but her sense of taste is an entirely different thing altogether, heheh =)). Incredible stuff. It comes black with this big gold-lined red star in the middle, hence my name for it. Aside from its cool design I bought it cos it reminded me about Adi's superman comic. And what a comic that was! It showed an alternative universe: what if superman's space capsule had not landed in Kansas USA but instead in a Ukranian farm collective? In that world our superman grows up to be the crusader for Soviet supremacy and succeeds Stalin to be the leader of a global USSR, which is now a real Utopia thanks to super-leadership. Very very cool stuff. So I jump from topic to topic, like one of those empty-headed bimbos I so frequently rail against. But indeed, shopping may be beneficial to one's health- ONLY IN VERY MODERATE AMOUNTS. posted by baron at 5:28 AM
Amidst all this news and expectations of Euro 2004 I keep reading stuff about Singapore soccer in the papers.
And boy does it crack me up. With the "Lions" losing 7-0 to Oman I really have nothing to say; the scoreline stands for itself. And I'm laughing not just at our joke of a team but at those die hard fools who always chastise us cynics and go on about "supporting our national team no matter how they fare". Goal 2010? They should adopt Mariah Carey's "There can be miracles" as the national anthem if we are to stand a whisper of a chance at that. Oh well I think I've wasted enough blogspace on this. posted by baron at 5:20 AM
May it be an evening star
Shines down upon you May it be when darkness falls Your heart will be true You walk a lonely road Oh! How far you are from home Mornie utúlië (darkness has come) Believe and you will find your way Mornie alantië (darkness has fallen) A promise lives within you now May it be the shadows call Will fly away May it be you journey on To light the day When the night is overcome You may rise to find the sun Mornie utúlië (darkness has come) Believe and you will find your way Mornie alantië (darkness has fallen) A promise lives within you now A promise lives within you now May It Be by Enya. The most beautiful piece of music known to man. And not just because of the Sindarin words, though the Elvish language would go a long way in making any music better sounding. posted by baron at 7:23 AM
Today I was faced with a choice:
Coldplay or Enya. Though I think Coldplay rules, I went along with Enya on account of her singing "May It Be" in the FotR soundtrack. The album I bought was "The Celts". Ok so I'm a wierdo. But hot damm Enya's good and I find those ancient druidical Brits fascinating. By listening to her stuff I can just envision myself sitting on a Stonehenge like structure watching all these village folk going to and fro about their business. Along with the clear sky and endless green fields and and trickling streams. And all thses people are like Nordic horsemen with flaxen straw hair and woollen cloaks and stuff. Quite a peaceful image her music conjurs, actually. I was expecting Celts to be barbaric and cruel, along with scenes where they cage Roman prisoners and send them into the mist where the druids will slowly dismember them for their pagan rites. Oh well. Like they say, every coin has two sides. No matter what this music is hell more enjoyable then slogging through piles of tutorial dipshit. posted by baron at 6:43 AM
It's over. It has ended. The dream is over. But I had that vision and will work towards it.
posted by baron at 7:30 AM
No apologies, no surrender.
I am beholden to nothing and nobody save God my Creator. posted by baron at 4:59 AM
Oh what's on TV now? Its HARRY POTTER and the sorceror's stone!
I have respect for JK (haha pun: "JoKing") Rowling as a writer but Pottermania is something that is strictly meant for the kids. I can't envision why mature adults would enjoy such movies and books. If they want fantasy and power, they should turn to LotR. One has only to compare the epic battles of Helm's Deep and the Pelennor Fields with the potty (no pun intended) Quidditch World Cup Finals to see my point. What we see in Potter is just a kid who has a bad temper and big whimsical magics; in LotR we have an epic tale of heroism and darkness, of friendship and legendary history. So all you "mature" Potter fans out there: leave the PAP wizard to his teenage angst. LotR has the real literary magic for you. And the soundtracks are of totally different standards too! Oscar tally: LotR: 11 Potter: NONE posted by baron at 6:13 AM
I have three questions for anyone who claims not to suffer from indecisiveness.
Which is the worse, to live in blithe ignorance and bliss, disconnected from reality, or to be utterly crippled by the harsh truth of the world? Who is the more foolish, the fool or he who trusts the fool? And most importantly, which would hurt more: to live in completely false, delusional hope, or to embrace despair? Only the pussies will sidestep questions such as these. They will offer lame answers such as "depends on the circumstances" or better yet, "neither, instead I will take pragmatic action and hope for the best". Absolute bullshit. I have yet to see someone who can choose one of the given alternatives with confidence. As for myself, I know my choices well; I have lived them out in my life. People are weak. posted by baron at 5:47 AM
The Scientist by Coldplay
Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry You don't know how lovely you are I had to find you Tell you I need you Tell you I set you apart Tell me your secrets And ask me you questions Oh let's go back to the start Running in circles Coming in tales Heads are a science apart Nobody said it was easy It's such a shame for us to part Nobody said it was easy No one ever said it would be this hard Oh take me back to the start I was just guessing At numbers and figures Pulling your puzzles apart Questions of science Science and progress Do not speak as loud as my heart Tell me you love me Come back and haunt me Oh and I rush to the start Running in circles Chasing tails And coming back as we are Nobody said it was easy Oh it's such a shame for us to part Nobody said it was easy No one ever said it would be so hard I'm going back to the start posted by baron at 1:22 AM
Today is the day of two great events:
The anniversary of the D-Day Normandy landings of World War 2 And the death of the world's greatest president, Ronald Wilson Reagan. A famous event and a famous person in the history of the defense of freedom, liberty, and democracy. I recall my history teacher relating this anecdote about Reagan. He was telling us about this press conference. Reporter 1: Mr President, what will you say to the Chinese ambassador later? Reagan: "Hello". Next question, please. Reporter 2: Mr President, is it true that you're going deaf? Reagan: I'm sorry, I couldn't catch that. Next question. What a guy!! Great president.Its hard to believe he was a movie actor before his presidency.And his co-star in his most famous movie was a chimpanzee, in "Bedtime for Bonzo". Hahaha! This chap was a great guy. But more importantly he was the winner of the Cold War. Sorry to the non-history buffs out there but I'm in my element and I can't stop now. This man was the leader who roused a sleeping democracy mired in decadence and post-Vietnam confusion and led it into the victorious conclusion of the Cold War. He faced down the evil in the Kremlin and was not afraid to call it what it really was : an evil empire, built on fear, force, and terror. He pushed aside all them sissy Democrats in Congress and set forth his plan to build up an arsenal of democracy to ensure the protection of the free peoples of the world. And for that we may forgive him for the cowboy reputation his reckless foreign policy gave him. He had courage to stand firm in his beliefs, and yet had the wisdom to guide his nation through the politics of international tensions. He was brave enough to retaliate when Libya sponsored air terrorism in 1986, but smart enough NOT to invade an oil-rich Arab nation against the wishes of the international community. Hot damm I sound like an American propagandist on Radio America. But seriously I admire this man who rose from obscurity to lead democracy to victory. And make no mistake; his boldness must not be confused with the stupidity of his successor George W Bushit.I quote from a Chinese democracy protestor " He was great Yankeeman". And I agree with that. Wholeheartedly. posted by baron at 6:08 AM
Being the planning genius that I am, Ive set up a holiday homework plan.
Unfortunately I reckoned without the presence of the computer. Thus I am one full week behind schedule. But oh well its time to play warcraft! Tralalalala..... posted by baron at 4:03 AM
4 wasps were spotted flying in my house tonight. 2 were sucked into my vacuum cleaner while the other two were killed with insecticide. Kill tally for the night:
Mom: 3 Me:1 The best way to get a wasp is to use the vacuum cleaner. Trust me. posted by baron at 7:09 AM
The Singapore Idol is starting.
Behold the TV programme of the ten million William Hungs! No don't get me wrong. I salute their bravery, even though there is a very thin line between bravery and sheer stupidity. But i am sickened by the way this potty little island is aimlessly aping the lifestyles and popular culture of the decadent West. Dammit the reporter is going on and on about being on the outside of the Idol auditions building. Why doesn't the news channel give us some analysis from outside media experts on the chances our local applicants stand? Because it'll be all bad news, and Mr Lee doesn't like bad news on national TV. Ok that was out of point. What is the point, then? Was there ever one? Back to philiosophy in my little world again. Screw I'm not hearing anything about the summer transfers to Arsenal. Wenger had better get a new striker at the very least to partner or deputize for Henry. Bad mistake in letting Wiltord and Kanu go, methinks. Oh well its now Euro 2004 and my predictions are: 1. France 2. Italy/Holland(IF they can stop their perennial infighting) posted by baron at 6:32 AM
Because my father taught YZ physics while YZ's dad tutored my brother in chinese for the midyears, our families went to a certain Hotel Continental for a celebration dinner now that the mid years are over. We ate at this 5 star mediteranean restuarant buffet.
I ate: 3 mussels 2 tiger prawns 2 crayfish marinated with butter 2 oysters with lemon 1 sirloin steak in some Lebanon sauce 1 Irish lamb shank 1 serving of fettuchini with mushrooms and sausage and chicken in tomato sauce alot of Casear salad 1 bowl of pea cream soup and garlic bread 1/2 serving of fried penne in cream sauce 1 slice of quiche 1 serving of some Libyan seafood rice 1 serving of cold cuts 3 desert tarts 1 cup of choc mousse 1 slice of apple lattice pastry 1 cup of raspberry ice cream, with almond and sauces 1 cup of Coke Lite Though i've eaten at Tona Romas and Crystal Jade in the last 3 weeks, I think this resturant takes the cake. I ate and ate and ate till i felt so bloody bloated. Mr Cook's marginal disutility and all. But heck it was fantastic stuff. Though the price tag was at $35++ a person. I never knew food could taste so good. Looks like ive found something to look forward to after all, heh. posted by baron at 6:55 AM
I don't get the fuss about love. The Baron School of Thought has found that the most powerful force in the universe is stupidity.
Powerful forces in the universe (in order of power): 1. Stupidity 2. Fear 3. Envy 4. Hatred 5. Greed 6. Lust 7. Bad Breath 8. Love 9. Self-righteousness 10.Ambition These have shaped humanity to what we are now. Not bad though, love has managed to get a place in the top 10. But the BST has reckoned without the existence of an Almighty. "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and begotten Son, so that whomsoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life" John 3:16 posted by baron at 1:29 AM
What is this utterly insipid thing we humans call love?
Why is this that makes us sopping bags of emotions? That makes us furnaces of blind passion? That causes us grief and pain for all its vaunted joy and pleasure? The cynics sneer and say it is a mere biological process, an in-built mechanism that ensures our genes get passed on, a process that will disappear with the coming of cloning and the obsolescence of love making and all that nonsense. The naivists smile and say it is the very essence of life itself for without it there is no creation nor meaning nor joy to our swift experience here on Earth. For it is due to this love that we have the will to live and live life to the fullest. And the rest of the general humdrum of humanity sways through its existence, going through the planetary motions without thought as to what this really means. What have I to say? I cannot say anything for my reason is clouded by it itself. I don't know what I should say. There is great beauty, yes, but there is also great pain. I have never seen nor felt such joy and sorrow entwined and enmeshed with each other, so that they are inseparable. They tell me that the only true love is that shared by God with us, on that Cross atop a hill in Israel. That I believe. But it does not solve the issues that bug me now. Nothing has. posted by baron at 8:15 AM
"Whether by the sword or the slow decay of time, Aragorn will die. And there will be no comfort for you.
No comfort to ease the pain of his passing." "He will come to death. An image of the splendor of the kings of men in glory, undimmed before the breaking of the world. But you, my daughter, you will linger on in darkness and in doubt. As night falling winter has come without a star." "Here you will dwell, bound to you grief, under the fading trees, until all the world has changed and the long years of your life are utterly spent." Elrond of Rivendell posted by baron at 8:11 AM
Into Dust
Mazzy Star (So Tonight That I Might See) Still falling Breathless and on again Inside today Beside me today A round broken in two 'Til your eyes shed Into dust Like two strangers Turning into dust 'Till my hand shook with the way I fear I could possibly be fading Or have something more to gain I could feel myself growing colder I could feel myself under your fate Under your fate It was you breathless and tall I could feel my eyes turning into dust And two strangers turning into dust Turning into dust posted by baron at 8:10 AM
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